Shreveport, LA – February 7, 2025 – Friday night took a wild turn on Youree Drive when an impromptu wrestling match—disguised as a bar fight—broke out in the parking lot of The Cub & The Roundbar, reportedly hosted by none other than Miracle Whip.
Witnesses say the melee started over a very passionate debate about whether Miracle Whip is, in fact, better than real mayonnaise.
Things escalated quickly when one patron declared, “Ain’t no way Miracle Whip belongs on a sandwich!” prompting Mayonnaise lovers to, yell “THIS. MEANS. WAR.” and dive headfirst into what can only be described as a WWE-style Royal Rumble.
Bar-goers report seeing a variety of moves: one man attempted a flying elbow off the hood of a Toyota Camry, while another was seen executing a suplex near the dumpster. Several witnesses claim a woman in a leopard-print dress was wielding a purse as a makeshift steel chair.
Shreveport police arrived on the scene just as a Miracle Whip lover—wearing a white-stained tank top—attempted to climb onto a parked Ford F-150 to deliver what he called his “Finishing Move.” Unfortunately, he slipped, and face-planted onto the pavement, and effectively ended his own match.
Authorities broke up the fight, but no arrests were made, as most participants were too exhausted from their impromptu cardio session. One officer reportedly shook his head and muttered, “Shreveport never disappoints.”
As for the great Miracle Whip vs. Mayo debate? The fight may be over, but the war rages on.
